WEEK ONE - weight: 11st 7lbs/ 73kg/ 160.9lbs

my goal

this was me and this is where i wanna be.

i wish i could go back in time and tell myself that this is happiness to me. i wish i could tell myself that i was all i needed and that i had done this for my self.

i wish i could have told myself that it was not okay to eat, and that eating did not mean that i was happy. i never hated my body, i hated everyone who was too blind to appreciate me! the people who never saw past my smile to see the broken little girl who was slowly slipping. and the one person who did open their arms to me and never accepted because i just didnt know how to.

this time i wont get there because i want a boy who i wasnt good enough for, not because i was too sad to eat and not because of depression.

i will get there for me.

Who i am and what i want.

i am a nobody.

its the sad reality of my life, i have grown up dieting. ive hated myself and my body for as long as i can remember. im tired of being who i am. i wanna be beautiful.
im not ugly, i have a pretty face i just ruin myself with a disgusting body. i know i can be strong enough and that i can do this, i just need something to keep me going, some motivation to keep my goals in mind and for once put myself first.

so hears my starting point.

this is what i look like right now. it makes me feel sick. i dont know why i do this to myself.

i dont want this anymore so im going to change this once and for all.

i know that there are going to be bumps along the road but i must not give up or give in.